Question: Do Muslims date? If they don't, how do they decide whom to marry?
Answer: "Dating" as it is currently practiced in much of the world does not exist among Muslims. Young Muslim men and women (or boys and girls) do not enter into one-on-one intimate relationships, spending time alone together, "getting to know each other" in a very deep way before deciding whether that's the person they will marry. Rather, in Islam pre-marital relationships of any kind between members of the opposite sex is forbidden.
Why?
The choice of a marriage partner is one of the most important decisions a person will make in his or her lifetime. It should not be taken lightly, nor left to chance or hormones. It should be taken as seriously as any other major decision in life - with prayer, careful investigation, and family involvement.
How do potential spouses meet?
First of all, Muslim youth develop very close friendships with their same-sex peers. This "sisterhood" or "brotherhood" that develops when they are young continues throughout their lives, and serves as a network to become familiar with other families. When a young person decides to get married, the following steps often take place:
The young person makes du'a for Allah to help him or her find the right person.
The family enquires, discusses, and suggests candidates from among the network of people that they know. They consult with each other to narrow down potential prospects. Usually the father or mother approaches the other family to suggest a meeting.
If the young couple and their families agree, the couple meets in a chaperoned, group environment. Umar related that the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, "Not one of you should meet a woman alone unless she is accompanied by a relative (mahram)." The Prophet also reportedly said, "Whenever a man is alone with a woman, Satan is the third among them." When young people are getting to know each other, being alone together is a temptation toward wrongdoing. At all times, Muslims should follow the commands of the Qur'an (24:30-31) to "lower their gaze and guard their modesty...." Islam recognizes that we are human and are given to human weakness, so this rule provides safeguards for our own sake.
If the couple seems compatible, the families may investigate further - talking with friends, family, Islamic leaders, co-workers, etc. to learn about the character of the potential spouse.
Before making a final decision, the couple prays salat-l-istikhara (prayer for guidance) to seek Allah's help and guidance.
The couple agrees to pursue marriage or part ways. Islam has given this freedom of choice to both young men and women - they cannot be forced into a marriage that they don't want.
This type of focused courtship helps ensure the strength of the marriage, by drawing upon family elders' wisdom and guidance in this important life decision. Family involvement in the choice of a marriage partner helps assure that the choice is based not on romantic notions, but rather on a careful, objective evaluation of the compatibility of the couple. That is why these marriages often prove successful in the long-term.
Thursday, 10 March 2011
How we met
How we met
I was raised to have a very humble nature, so I trusted my parents. All the decisions they made for me were in the interest of my future and my happiness. Therefore I let them decide, and they arranged my marriage. My husband came once to see me, but I did not notice him. I only saw him on our wedding day; I first spoke to him on our wedding night.
How I Did It:
I remember when I first talked to him, I told him that I wear hijab. He was a little upset and said, 'Your parents didn't mention it.' So I told him, "Now is the time for you to decide if you still accept me or not, because I wear hijab in obedience to Allah's order. Therefore I can't remove it for the sake of a human.' He really got worried about my answer, and asked me, 'Why you say it like this?' I told him that if we're going to start a new life, I don't want to start it by disobeying Allah. I said, 'After marriage I will be your wife so I can't lead you in a wrong direction.' After that he really appreciated me.
Advice
For this kind of marriage, you really need a lot of patience and understanding. We were raised in totally different environments, so our thinking and lifestyles were totally different. We didn't know each other's ideas or needs, and it takes time. Both should have patience. Please, my dear sisters and brothers, spend time listening to your spouse, and please take care of your Islamic knowledge before you think about marriage. Because if you build your life on Islam it will never go wrong.
Was yours an arranged marriage?
I was raised to have a very humble nature, so I trusted my parents. All the decisions they made for me were in the interest of my future and my happiness. Therefore I let them decide, and they arranged my marriage. My husband came once to see me, but I did not notice him. I only saw him on our wedding day; I first spoke to him on our wedding night.
How I Did It:
I remember when I first talked to him, I told him that I wear hijab. He was a little upset and said, 'Your parents didn't mention it.' So I told him, "Now is the time for you to decide if you still accept me or not, because I wear hijab in obedience to Allah's order. Therefore I can't remove it for the sake of a human.' He really got worried about my answer, and asked me, 'Why you say it like this?' I told him that if we're going to start a new life, I don't want to start it by disobeying Allah. I said, 'After marriage I will be your wife so I can't lead you in a wrong direction.' After that he really appreciated me.
Advice
For this kind of marriage, you really need a lot of patience and understanding. We were raised in totally different environments, so our thinking and lifestyles were totally different. We didn't know each other's ideas or needs, and it takes time. Both should have patience. Please, my dear sisters and brothers, spend time listening to your spouse, and please take care of your Islamic knowledge before you think about marriage. Because if you build your life on Islam it will never go wrong.
Was yours an arranged marriage?
How Safe Are Websites That Are Geared Toward Finding A Future Husband/Wife?
How Safe Are Websites That Are Geared Toward Finding A Future Husband/Wife?
"Parents seeking correspondence for the marriage of their daughter. She is an honest, caring and religious young lady. Only parents or other responsible family member of interested party respond.
The technological age has completely transformed how Muslims find potential spouses. Traditionally, Muslim families seek suitable mates for their adult children through their network of family, friends and neighbors. However, with the onset of the internet and the different dynamics of families, these traditions have changed. Families are not as well-connected due to moving long distance because of work and other such circumstances. This has made networking among friend and family much more difficult. Thanks to the internet, Muslims who are looking for a mate are no longer confined to their families small social network.
Islamic matrimonial sites are an aide in this process. They are different from ordinary dating services, because people who come to these sites are typically seeking an Islamic marriage.
It's essential that you are cautious when trying to find a mate over the internet. The internet is a tool that allows people to remain anonymous, which allows people to put their best side forward. There are several Islamic guidelines that will help you stay safe if you choose to try and find a spouse through this route.
Instead of communicating directly with a suitor, have a Wali, or trusted guardian, act as your contact person.
Have this person screen any potential candidates carefully. Make sure they talk to other Muslims in the suitor's community to find out more about this person.
Under no circumstances should you meet someone who hasn't been fully screened. You should always meet in a public setting. Never meet a suitor alone, have a trusted friend or family member with you.
Involve friends and family in your search, and seek their advice and counsel.
Choose an online matrimonial site that is specifically designed for Muslims, not "dating" sites where you can simply screen candidates by religion.
Wondering just how safe are websites that help people connect with potential spouses? Get the low down now in our overview of the best Muslim Marriage Websites and Muslim Marriage Articles - Guides and Advice.
"Parents seeking correspondence for the marriage of their daughter. She is an honest, caring and religious young lady. Only parents or other responsible family member of interested party respond.
The technological age has completely transformed how Muslims find potential spouses. Traditionally, Muslim families seek suitable mates for their adult children through their network of family, friends and neighbors. However, with the onset of the internet and the different dynamics of families, these traditions have changed. Families are not as well-connected due to moving long distance because of work and other such circumstances. This has made networking among friend and family much more difficult. Thanks to the internet, Muslims who are looking for a mate are no longer confined to their families small social network.
Islamic matrimonial sites are an aide in this process. They are different from ordinary dating services, because people who come to these sites are typically seeking an Islamic marriage.
It's essential that you are cautious when trying to find a mate over the internet. The internet is a tool that allows people to remain anonymous, which allows people to put their best side forward. There are several Islamic guidelines that will help you stay safe if you choose to try and find a spouse through this route.
Instead of communicating directly with a suitor, have a Wali, or trusted guardian, act as your contact person.
Have this person screen any potential candidates carefully. Make sure they talk to other Muslims in the suitor's community to find out more about this person.
Under no circumstances should you meet someone who hasn't been fully screened. You should always meet in a public setting. Never meet a suitor alone, have a trusted friend or family member with you.
Involve friends and family in your search, and seek their advice and counsel.
Choose an online matrimonial site that is specifically designed for Muslims, not "dating" sites where you can simply screen candidates by religion.
Wondering just how safe are websites that help people connect with potential spouses? Get the low down now in our overview of the best Muslim Marriage Websites and Muslim Marriage Articles - Guides and Advice.
Facts To Know Regarding Online Matchmaking Websites
Facts To Know Regarding Online Matchmaking Websites
Online matchmaking is finally catering to Arabs and Muslims around the world. The demand for high quality websites that offer great matchmaking services to Arabs and Muslims is very high.
Online love is nothing new. But it is only recently, however, that sites have started to target Arab and Muslim communities, catering specifically to their needs worldwide. In this article we will share with you some tips to make your experience successful.
TIPS FOR SUCCESS:
If you were to consult Ahmed, he would tell you that online relationships will work when both sides are trustworthy and balanced. However, he will concede that in order for a relationship to grow, meeting in person through the preliminary process is very necessary.
Nasser has equally important tips for those interested in online matchmaking: take it slowly, communicate anonymously, and give out your personal contact information only when you are ready. Ask for references, including family, friends, or the local imam, call these people, talk to them, or if your family is supporting your search, have one of your family members check the references. If possible, arrange a meeting between you, him, and both your families, or with your walli (for women).
You will find that this might neutralize any potential risks. Nasser suggests that after you have checked with references that he might have submitted and met the family, does it still even matter where the two of you initially met?
"My final bit of advice for matrimonial advertisers is that as much as it is important to take it slow, it is equally important to open your heart," Nasser added. "The right person for you, the one that Allah has destined for you, is out there, but you will never meet him or her unless you are willing to share something of yourself. Be brave. Everyone deserves a shot at happiness. Don't look for the one who is perfect, but for the one who is right. So be bold and take a chance."
Online matchmaking is finally catering to Arabs and Muslims around the world. The demand for high quality websites that offer great matchmaking services to Arabs and Muslims is very high.
Online love is nothing new. But it is only recently, however, that sites have started to target Arab and Muslim communities, catering specifically to their needs worldwide. In this article we will share with you some tips to make your experience successful.
TIPS FOR SUCCESS:
If you were to consult Ahmed, he would tell you that online relationships will work when both sides are trustworthy and balanced. However, he will concede that in order for a relationship to grow, meeting in person through the preliminary process is very necessary.
Nasser has equally important tips for those interested in online matchmaking: take it slowly, communicate anonymously, and give out your personal contact information only when you are ready. Ask for references, including family, friends, or the local imam, call these people, talk to them, or if your family is supporting your search, have one of your family members check the references. If possible, arrange a meeting between you, him, and both your families, or with your walli (for women).
You will find that this might neutralize any potential risks. Nasser suggests that after you have checked with references that he might have submitted and met the family, does it still even matter where the two of you initially met?
"My final bit of advice for matrimonial advertisers is that as much as it is important to take it slow, it is equally important to open your heart," Nasser added. "The right person for you, the one that Allah has destined for you, is out there, but you will never meet him or her unless you are willing to share something of yourself. Be brave. Everyone deserves a shot at happiness. Don't look for the one who is perfect, but for the one who is right. So be bold and take a chance."
Muslim Marriage Online - Advantage & Disadvantages
Muslim Marriage Online - Advantage & Disadvantages
There are sites that are aimed toward Muslims to find marriage online. This will show you some of the Muslim marriage online - advantage & disadvantages of using the service.
Look At Profiles Carefully
Using these sites make it easier for you to find a partner that is Muslim to marry. An online search can help you find the perfect partner, and online sites make it easy for you to find them. While you are at home, you can look over profiles from the convenience of your home whenever you have the time. Be aware that some people do use these sites to find something extra and not marriage through the use of fake profiles. Some of them are done to look for personal information and are used in the process of identity theft, so spend time in finding a site that really is using marriage as the ultimate goal since the better sites will take measures to ensure a good experience for all.
Making The Most Of Photos
Muslim marriage online sites make it easier to say 'no' as you do not have to meet the girl/boy in person. You don't even have to meet the person physically to judge his/her looks. This saves you from hurting those people that have been rejected by you due to looks. However, many people upload photographs that are clicked in special studios to make them look better than what they actually are. Such practices lead to wastage of time, money, and are disappointing.
Other points
Many of these sites charge for the services, and some will take advantage of this by charging high prices. Before you become a member of any site, take some time to read reviews on them. This will help you find a site that has a good reputation with results that you want. Cheap sites can save you money, but they may not be the best choice. Since you are looking for a spouse for love and happiness, don't base the site on simply money.
Online matrimonial provide a wide variety of profiles to choose from. No matter to what Muslim caste you belong, there is a perfect partner available online for every Muslim.
Looking for more info on Muslim Marriage Online - Advantage & Disadvantages? Get the low down on Muslim Marriage Articles - Guides and Advice .
There are sites that are aimed toward Muslims to find marriage online. This will show you some of the Muslim marriage online - advantage & disadvantages of using the service.
Look At Profiles Carefully
Using these sites make it easier for you to find a partner that is Muslim to marry. An online search can help you find the perfect partner, and online sites make it easy for you to find them. While you are at home, you can look over profiles from the convenience of your home whenever you have the time. Be aware that some people do use these sites to find something extra and not marriage through the use of fake profiles. Some of them are done to look for personal information and are used in the process of identity theft, so spend time in finding a site that really is using marriage as the ultimate goal since the better sites will take measures to ensure a good experience for all.
Making The Most Of Photos
Muslim marriage online sites make it easier to say 'no' as you do not have to meet the girl/boy in person. You don't even have to meet the person physically to judge his/her looks. This saves you from hurting those people that have been rejected by you due to looks. However, many people upload photographs that are clicked in special studios to make them look better than what they actually are. Such practices lead to wastage of time, money, and are disappointing.
Other points
Many of these sites charge for the services, and some will take advantage of this by charging high prices. Before you become a member of any site, take some time to read reviews on them. This will help you find a site that has a good reputation with results that you want. Cheap sites can save you money, but they may not be the best choice. Since you are looking for a spouse for love and happiness, don't base the site on simply money.
Online matrimonial provide a wide variety of profiles to choose from. No matter to what Muslim caste you belong, there is a perfect partner available online for every Muslim.
Looking for more info on Muslim Marriage Online - Advantage & Disadvantages? Get the low down on Muslim Marriage Articles - Guides and Advice .
The Increasing Appeal Of Muslim Marriage Websites
The Increasing Appeal Of Muslim Marriage Websites
by Yosef Mohammed
Over the past several years, the world of dating has been completely transformed and altered to a more secular and wide reaching approach toward the internet. In fact, more people are now turning toward websites and online dating more than the traditional approaches of crowded bars and other conventional means of meeting people. With this being a very common occurrence, Muslims are now discovering the incredible use of Muslim marriage websites overall.
Online dating has definitely come a very long way from original inception and has provided a revolutionary offering of what is always crucial and critical in wanting to meet someone. With such appeal growing within this type of offering, there is not an incredible amount of people that wish to find the right site for them. For Muslims, there are definitely very specific sites that are created just for them in this process.
Dating and marriage sites for Muslims are a bit different than normal dating sites as there are very specific and higher standards offered for those in the Muslim world. With this being said, there is actually a very specific standard profile set that is created for those that wish to join this site. As such, more Muslims each day are definitely finding these sites to be incredibly appealing to use overall.
Muslim marriage websites, very much like other types of dating websites, are actually geared more toward pictures and profile offerings. Singles are able to find one another on an initial physical attraction level within the very first stages of matching . Thus, there are an amazing and growing amount of people finding this process even more appealing overall.
With any profile creation, there should be very specific and actual questions that are asked on the profile creation that all add up to a very specific offering and appeal. This is something which is important to know and understand in any selection process to begin with. On these sites, there are very specific and culturally motivated questions that are answered to provide a very specific dating appeal.
As each Muslim is often very careful in how they choose what site to use, there is also the appeal of finding a site that offers a free trial. The profile creation and browsing should all be free of charge and there should also be a host of other free features that are at least for a limited amount of time. Thus, these sites should be used first.
With Muslim marriage websites being geared more toward marriage as opposed to dating, one should seriously consider the format of which they are able to find a life partner. This makes for much more specific selection criteria. It also should be very well advertised on this site.
Yosef Mohammed is very active in Muslim Marriage Websites and services. He personally reviews and rates the services available for the single Muslims worldwide.
by Yosef Mohammed
Over the past several years, the world of dating has been completely transformed and altered to a more secular and wide reaching approach toward the internet. In fact, more people are now turning toward websites and online dating more than the traditional approaches of crowded bars and other conventional means of meeting people. With this being a very common occurrence, Muslims are now discovering the incredible use of Muslim marriage websites overall.
Online dating has definitely come a very long way from original inception and has provided a revolutionary offering of what is always crucial and critical in wanting to meet someone. With such appeal growing within this type of offering, there is not an incredible amount of people that wish to find the right site for them. For Muslims, there are definitely very specific sites that are created just for them in this process.
Dating and marriage sites for Muslims are a bit different than normal dating sites as there are very specific and higher standards offered for those in the Muslim world. With this being said, there is actually a very specific standard profile set that is created for those that wish to join this site. As such, more Muslims each day are definitely finding these sites to be incredibly appealing to use overall.
Muslim marriage websites, very much like other types of dating websites, are actually geared more toward pictures and profile offerings. Singles are able to find one another on an initial physical attraction level within the very first stages of matching . Thus, there are an amazing and growing amount of people finding this process even more appealing overall.
With any profile creation, there should be very specific and actual questions that are asked on the profile creation that all add up to a very specific offering and appeal. This is something which is important to know and understand in any selection process to begin with. On these sites, there are very specific and culturally motivated questions that are answered to provide a very specific dating appeal.
As each Muslim is often very careful in how they choose what site to use, there is also the appeal of finding a site that offers a free trial. The profile creation and browsing should all be free of charge and there should also be a host of other free features that are at least for a limited amount of time. Thus, these sites should be used first.
With Muslim marriage websites being geared more toward marriage as opposed to dating, one should seriously consider the format of which they are able to find a life partner. This makes for much more specific selection criteria. It also should be very well advertised on this site.
Yosef Mohammed is very active in Muslim Marriage Websites and services. He personally reviews and rates the services available for the single Muslims worldwide.
Friday, 4 March 2011
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